We need people.  We are made for relationship; to feel connected and loved.  But, to be honest…

there are some Turkeys in my life.  And I’m sure you have some too.

A controlling boss

A dependent adult child who drains you

A friend who preaches instead of listens

An alcoholic in your life who causes chaos

A victim who wants you to rescue her

A gossiping relative who causes divisions

{Quick Sidebar}

The Bible cautions us about being hypocritical here:

And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye?  Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.

                                Matthew 7:3-5 (New Living Translation)

Turkeys can be broken down this way:

Grade C Turkey:  mild to moderate selfishness

Good guys who mean well.  They try to be honest, fair, and trustworthy for the most part, but who may be a bit selfish now and then or take advantage of others

without meaning real harm

Grade B Turkey:  serious to acute selfishness

Purposefully and willfully manipulate, control and abuse their fellowman.  And, while they usually feel some guilt afterward, they are likely to do it again.  Controllers, bullies, verbally abusive.

they are often aware of what they are doing

Grade A Turkeys:  severe to sociopathic selfishness (10% of the general population)

The dangerous people in society who truly enjoy controlling, abusing, and dominating their fellowman and not feel any guilt about the pain and suffering they cause.  A sociopathic personality disorder.

no conscience

Turkey Examples: Driving a Car

Grade C Turkeys – they are absentminded, they speed up or slow down “just keeping up with the traffic”, text while driving

Grade B Turkeys – they tailgate, cut people off, honk when others don’t move fast enough

Grade A Turkeys – violent, road rage, running others off the road

More Turkey Examples:  Bosses

Grade C Turkey – asks you to work overtime frequently, takes credit for your work, without really meaning to

Grade B Turkey – verbally abusive tirades, suggestive comments, impossible deadlines, blames others, belittles you in front of other employees

Grade A Turkey – sexual harassment, cruel and unrealistic expectations

My Goal:  To NOT be a Turkey.  To be a mature adult; a loving, caring person who has conquered most of my jerky tendencies.

Go deeper:  

4 Red Flags of a Potentially Abusive Relationship

I’m learning and growing in spite of myself.  How about you?  Do you have any Turkeys in your life?   Would you break them down in a different way?